A commentary upon Election 2014 by a Mango Man
I am a happy soul these days……..feeling eternal bliss after eating delicious Alphonso mangoes.
I will share a secret with you…even after spending 33 years in Aryavarta, I had not tasted the great Alphonso …the primary reason was that our farmers with generous help from politicians used to dispatch 25,000 tonnes of top-quality mangoes to European Union countries as well as Gulf countries. So, the prices of remaining 2nd-quality Alphonsos were always in the range of Rs. 180-300 per Kg. in markets of metropolitan cities of India.
This is even true of our own ubiquitous Tea also as most of us drink third-quality cheap Tea dust while delicious Tea leaves are exported for earning precious US dollars.
Coming to mango again…
Though, I could have afforded to eat some slices of costly Alphonso being a salaried employee but my strictly desi middle-class upbringing prevented such extravagance. I will eat local Begumpalli/Maldah at an affordable rate of Rs. 30 – 40 per Kg.
I am not against farmers earning decent money for their produce but why keep the king of fruits out of reach for 80 % of our countrymen.
So, now I thank some fruit flies/insects who had infested the great Alphonso and European Union/ Angrezs banned it from importing to their sensitive country.
Now, the rate of Alphonso has come down to Rs. 70-110 in Madurai and I am loving it.
But, I planned to write a political blog by by mango man…so the mango story is the perfect beginning.
Since last nearly 03 months, when Model Code of Conduct has come into effect, the bureaucrats have started working sincerely in our country.Even Trains are running on time. I hope that this continues even after installation of new government in Delhi so that we have a permanent Class Monitor to watch over errant and crooked politicians of all hues.
I am sick of the propaganda unleashed by the Congress, BJP and AAP on the social media domain. Only these 03 parties are occupying nearly 95% of information media coverage.
What has happened to a country of 125 crores and counting , having more than 300 recognised parties ?
There is no space for independent thoughts on Internet as trollers/abusers are roaming freely on social media platforms. I was horrified by the news that a local level leader of a National Party…..I am not sure whether it was congress or BJP………had threatened a girl on Twitter for her free opinion….the gentleman had famously said “I know where you live Ruby”……….
To top it all…nothing happened to that rude chap for threatening a girl about consequences of expressing her opinion because he belonged to a powerful Political Party………while our Police is very fond of arresting mango men for slight deviance/outspokenness on the Internet.
Has our country become a Banana Republic on the lines of rogue North Korea where ideological opponents of ruling Gentleman called Kim Jong I…II…III etc. are fed to wild dogs.
Last time I checked we were still a democracy few minutes back , in middle of the greatest festival of democracy. But, the festivities are missing during General Parliamentary Election 2014.
This time all top guns and minions of Congress, BJP,AAP,Samajwadi Party, TMC,BSP,RJD,JD(U) ,Shiv Sena and its sibling MNS, Akali Dal,NCP,NC,DMK/AIDMK are firing blank rounds mixed with choicest expletives at each other. I am happy for my communist brothers as they are not part of this bandwagon.
It is like the Gali season in Benaras during Holi, but our conscience was clear during those days. In Benaras, you learn to abuse anyone without having malice in your heart. May be, these politicians need to undergo a crash course in Galishashtra while living in Acharya Narendra Dev Hostel of Benaras Hindu University. Abusing inmates of Rajaram Hostel, Birla Hostel as well as girls of Gangotri Hostel was sheer fun. I still remember the shrill voice of my beloved Budhau who used to aesthetically abuse other hostellers during long hours of study in night.
In fact most of night owls of BHU were excellent Galli Masters who become very cordial with their seniors during day time. It was unadultered fun.
But, these politicians are really sick people who are using below the belt punches in such a derogatory manner.
Some people are threatening to cut others into pieces, others are sending opponents to Pakistan……….
what the ***k is happening?
Why these buggers are forgetting that mango man like me is more concerned with prices of mango in local market…. Education and job for youths are more important than taking revenge on the catastrophic events of 1947.
Good roads having a silky surface in my neighbourhood matters to me more than in knowing that a 67-year old or should I say young is having extra-marital affairs with a young and pretty journalist in Lutyens corridors of Indraprastha.
How does it concern a mango man ?
Why will I bother about a politician not recognising his legitimate wife for a considerable period of time, if the lady in question is comfortable in remaining so.
Yes, these are juicy gossips and bring a smile to my mango-smeared face but why the heck have they become the most happening topic of election debate.
I am more concerned about public money being looted by politician/bureaucrats and businessman nexus.
But, I am perplexed to know that Aditya Birla Group has donated 36 crores to Congress and 26 Crores to BJP at the same time……so whoever comes to power will help them in enriching their coffers. What an ideal distribution of money.
All big business houses are doing the same that is why Rahul or Modi jee are flying Business Jets and filling the tanks with costly Aviation Turbine Fuel while me as a mango man thinks 2 times about filling the petrol tanks of my Swift Dzire even for travelling to nearby multiplex.
They are talking one-way to gullible public at KanyaKumari in morning having lunch in Bhopal and dinner with Bodo tribes in Assam. All in a day’s work.
Even the convicted Lalu Yadav travels 8 hrs. a day in Helicopter.
The moot question is,who is footing the bill ?
Can any politician in this election will promise me that the income tax which I pay from my hard-earned money will not be looted by these jokers ?
I work 12 months a year and get paid for 11 months only as 01 month salary is reserved for Income Tax.
Who is responsible for this money ?
There are questions and more questions. They will remain so till the day I decide to become a politician.
Mango man Kejriwal tried to do this but he is having a horrid time in the field.I remember the immortal lines of an incorigible and volputous Bihari actress
“ Thappad se dar nahi lagta Saheb……..pyar se lagta hai “
I felt happy when a mango man in Hyderabad asked Superstar politician Chiranjeevi not to jump queue and fall in line. Sensing the presence of Canon SLR cameras in Election booth courtsey our ever-present TV cameraman…….the Gentleman Chiranjeevi became a part of disciplined line while everyone present cheered for the brave and young mango man.
I became happy and cheered for this fellow mango man.
But, I sincerely wish that this election season gets over sooner as I have to unfriend some of my Facebook friends due to their illogical wit.
This includes Modified friends, Rahul admirers,Manmohan brand dual politics and Kejriwal crusaders.
Though, I personally like some traits of politicians of these colours.
I like the Manmohan brand of silence which is far better than 56-inch chest people.
Basically I am like Panchali in this regard…….when God asked her that ‘ what type of husband she would like to have’…..she talked of 05 qualities which were not possible in one man so God gave 05 husbands to her.
May be we need a Panchali Prime Minister who is
iii. wonderful orator,
iv. popular, as well as
So, my dear readers, I suggest you vote for a Panchali Prime Minister having these 05 qualities enumerated by me.We need to perform some kind of divine Hawan/Yagya to get such a Gentleman.
To end today’s musing I will tell you a crass joke in the language of politicians whom I have criticized in my blog….
Someone said to Manmohan jee that Chinese people have entered 10 Kms. inside our territory.
The ever smiling Manmohan Jee said,
“I was not bothered when Italian people entered 10 Janapath why should I bother about 10 Km. territory intrusion “
You feel it was in a bad taste……..I am happy…I just wanted to have fun at the expanse of others.
This is my blog. It is either my way or Highway.
Bye for now.